I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
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