How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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