Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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