mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
do nipples grow back?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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