let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
