is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
