Im at strip club and am horny
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
