sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
