Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i came on her dog
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
