i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
We need a shit load of segways right now
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
