ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
smell my finger.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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