dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
