Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
