I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
