the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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