and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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