Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
