i don't like sucking hair
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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