Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Dick very happy bro
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
