i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
