I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
