apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
