So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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