Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
