they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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