I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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