She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
