Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
