Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Sext me about skeletons
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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