my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
