Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Couch. On fire.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
