Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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