I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize