Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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