and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
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