Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
