She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
