Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
