I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
