i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
