Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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