New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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