before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
