everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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