I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Randomize
