don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
They took my balls.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
