All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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