Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.

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(801): View more from Utah

Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.

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(219): View more from Indiana

she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.

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(614): View more from Ohio

We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"

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(301): View more from Maryland

Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious

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(818): View more from California

I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.

(818): View more from California

Turns out it's a fake number.

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