how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
