The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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