I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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