i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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