How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
