Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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