In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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