I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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