Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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