I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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