Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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