Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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