The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
