just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
