He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
