Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I could make wine with my vomit
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
